Ok, so i bought this item on ebay about two weeks ago, the seller said it was in near mint condition, it was NOT!! so i asked them for a refound, and they said they would if i would send the item back first, so i opened a item not as described dispute in paypal, stating everything about the item, then i shipped the item and provided the tracking number thing in paypal, a few hours later i get a message from the seller saying she declined my full money refound request, and said that i did not need to get paypal involved, and that she will give me the refound after the item is in her hands. it took the item 8 days to come to me from her, so how will i know when she gets it? also can she go back and accept my request in paypal? im confused, can anyone help?

What you should do is call the seller or call paypal or set a dispute with ebay, but notify someone for help because that was just foul. Go to frequently asked questions on ebay or paypal those should do some help.

did you get proof of postage?

First if you contacted the seller and they agreed to accept the item back and give you a refund then you should have not opened the dispute with paypal. The dispute service is only if your seller refuses to work with you, which your seller did not do, that is a real crappy thing to do to the seller. You said above that you have a tracking number or delivery confirmation on the package you shipped, all you have to do is track the number and you will know when it was delivered.It sounds like your seller is trustworthy, I am sure once they receive the item back they will issue you the credit (less freight) for the item, if they do not in a couple of days, enter a message to paypal that item was received and seller has not credited the account, they will take care of it.