"Australian Tourism FAQ"These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from a Aussie.1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)A: Depends how much you've been drinking3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)A: So its true what they say about Swedes.5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)A: Let's not touch this one.6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)A: What did your last slave die of?7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.8. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.11. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)A: No, WE don't stink.12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia (USA)A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)A: You are a British politician, right?14. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population?(Italy)A: Yes, gay nightclubs.15. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)A: Only at Christmas.17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.21. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.22. Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Classic,

This set of questions have ben around for years - they originally were regarding the US (stupid questions they were asked) then Canada, UK etc. The questions have stayed the same in the same order with only minor modificaions

That was cool!Im gona send the link to my missus, she works for an Aus company here in Scotland and Im sure the staff will love it!

I have seen those questions sooo many times.

I actually work as a tour guide in Sydney and I really do get questions similar to many of these (some better) quite a lot. The nationalities responsible are varied but the Americans definitely outnumber the rest when it comes to the stupidest questions.

totally love it, and we see so many of these questions in this section.

you've gotta love the yanks ?where else in the world

Thanks for a good chuckle first thing in the morning... even to cleaning coffee off the computer screen... LOL.Have a great day everyone!

hahahahaThe questions are just as funny as the answers!