We're kicking dust around this morning in Berlin headquarters due to boredom whilst rummaging through old fashioned elbow-freedom plans.When Herr Siegbert von Rippenknickers pointed out that his pals at his private club "Odessa"(Organization Der Ehemaligen SS Angehörigen ) or short in Germany the "good ol'e boys dug up Himmlers evil plan on having the 3rd Nordsee flotte (Naval fleet) join the Uboots in Warnemünde to place a large scale embargo of the entire import on Marmalade shipment through the English Channel and cut Suffolk UK off from this mind altering substance.Especially Grapefruit and Orange.This is not an act of aggression on our part because we heard the folks in Suffolk trying to sell potatoes with stab wounds to us. I even understand the pack their potatoes and name every single one too, word has it they'll even separate them by religion too..... Infidel-Spud is one brand name. This will create havoc in Germany and of course create a meltdown in the German efficient organization as we know it.Are we over reacting?

I have no clue what this means. However, it's the best read I've had this morning so far.Thumbs up for a great read.Oh, Your answer? Probably not.

Our potatoes are so hard I had to fight them to get them out of the ground, well they were wimps really and needed me to shout at them very loudly.

You seemed to have overlooked Lemon Marmalade, which causes the lips to suck into the sinus cavity thus creating a vacuum behind the nasopharynx area in the centre of the lower part of the skull.All the Suffolkians have to do is take a powerfully deep breath and lifting their head in Berlin's general direction blow the snot out of y'all.If I were you I would take this information to Herr Siegbert von Rippenknickers asap. The last I heard the inflammationn has already started, greeners are beginning to drip and heads are looking up toward the clouds awaiting clear skies.I think you may be screwed, Over........

It wont' be the first time that pointy hatted sausage eaters, having exhausted their entire repertoire of jokes about dust, have tried to pick on the good folk of Suffolk. The pattern repeats throughout history and is accompanied by pathetic attempts to justify the whole affair on the basis of some alledged transgression by the peace loving Suffolkians. This time it's to be a supposed attack by wounded Jihadi fundamentalist potatoes. Frankly its the sort of excuse even GWB could have bettered. Once more the U boats will patrol the channel and once more we will just send everything by airmail until they get bored and go home to do some press ups and star jumps before leaping naked into frozen lakes.

Caramba, things could get ugly when the Brits impose an equal and opposite embargo of horseradish. It brings a tear to my eye...

Zo ! you haf finally discovered our master plan regarding zur Marmalade and zur Kartofflen, you haf made zur great blunder zat you Englanders are famous for, yes...zur kartofflen naming. Ve vill take all zur names off zur sacks and jumble zem up and zey vont know who zey are...Ve think of everysink Englander, ve even know you name Pike, yes you are in zur book.