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will someone plz read this?


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  #6  
Old 07-03-2009, 05:57 PM
lead lead is offline
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I would change "These people don't realize that almost all the electronic things around them have this mineral in them." to "Most people do not realize that many electronic devices contain Quartz.""But how is Quartz placed and used in these things? Well, Thin wafers of quartz grounded to the precise thickness, can transmit sound waves at fixed frequencies, making them invaluable to the things I mentioned earlier and more! A lot of electronic things probably wouldn't function as well without this mineral." to "But how is Quartz placed and used in these devices? Thin wafers of quartz grounded to the precise thickness, can transmit sound waves at fixed frequencies, making quartz an invaluable addition to many devices! Without quartz, many electronic devices would not function the same way that they do today.""Although, a lot of people overlook it they don't realizes how dependent we are on it and that things probably wouldn't function as well as, they do with out it."to "Although many people overlook the value of Quartz, they do not realizes how dependent we are on it and that many things would not function as well as they do with out it."
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Old 07-03-2009, 06:02 PM
business business is offline
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What NNR said, plus, I would expand the definition a bit at the beginning. What are silicates and tectosilicates? Is it safe to assume your audience knows? And how does rutilated quartz differ from other forms? A little explanation of the geochenistry is in order.Quartz is an ingredient in the making of glass, and I think explaining the difference between the crystalline nature of quartz and the supercooled fluid nature of glass might add a bit of depth. Also quartz passes UV and glass and plastic absorb it.And it is "widely spread". Other than that, you have researched reasonably well.
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