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Help me with my satire please? :)?

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Old 09-07-2009, 06:48 AM
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Default Help me with my satire please? :)?

Okay, I'm supposed to create a school-related satire for my english class. I've never written one of them before, can you help me please? I know this is terrible, but I need ideas lol. Students and teachers of Polk County Schools,We are very sorry to inform you that the state has decided to cut the funding for education even further. Here is an outline of how this will affect budgets:•Teachers will take a fifteen percent decrease in their salaries. Selected educators will receive an extra class of bright students to enrich, cutting only the excessive planning periods.•We will supply only enough of essential supplies to get through the school year. Remember: conservation is key and sharing is caring.•Teachers will be required to water down lessons as necessary. We must only go as fast as the slowest student.•Teachers must base curriculum on strict state standards. Any unique or unstandardized methods must be reported as to promote uniformity. Remember: we are all equal.•Parents must receive a detailed outline of everything to be learned in each class. Deep or thought-provoking material may be censored.•Efforts should be focused on preparation for the state standardized test. If students do not have a thorough comprehension of how to look up answers, fill in bubbles, and follow directions, they will be required to take a class teaching them how to do so.•Teacher bonuses will not be issued this year. In our efforts to improve Florida’s education system, we have taken it upon ourselves to vastly improve the interior of the school board office. We appreciate your efforts to further this cause.•Due to the lack of expendable finances, student-enriching programs in the fine arts department may be cut entirely. Sports, however, are an essential asset to Polk County Schools, and will therefore receive all needed funds.•Members of the school board itself will receive a pay dock of one-half percent of their salaries, as we all must sacrifice in these strained times.(This is supposed to be in the form of a letter from the school board to teachers and students...not finished and just like an option for a rough draft lol)
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